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  10. Wildwitch's Avatar
    It doesn't sound like you are being a bad MIL, just maybe not seeing the bigger picture.

    You say she only wants you to see the children on her terms. Are her terms really unreasonable? Or just different?

    Try to remember that all people come from different family/life experiences and it is actually more amazing that so many families manage to mesh at all. Your other DIL seems to have a similar background as yours so she easily fits into your family dynamic. Unless her demands are unreasonable, try to just accommodate her wishes and not treat her any differently than your other DIL. It will likely be difficult, but if she feels that she is being pushed away in favor of the 'golden DIL', she will likely withdraw even more.
  11. adela's Avatar
    The best thing to do would be to get your husband to speak to his family. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you did or said as rude children become rude adults. At least your in-laws still discussed the issue with you, as I had in-laws who were sly and false and would never say anything controversial in front of me as I am straightforward which they don't like! We, therefore, didn't have a normal family relationship, but that's their loss! In the long run, it's best for your husband to speak to them and going forward you will all have a better understanding of one another. Good luck!!
  12. CSmith's Avatar
    Post this on forum.

    You are a strong person. That's too much for you to carry around.
  13. Mrsmamasboy's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by modfern
    Come over to the main forums and repost. Not a lot of people read the blogs.
    I donít have the option to post there.. if I do, I canít figure out how! 😔
  14. modfern's Avatar
    Come over to the main forums and repost. Not a lot of people read the blogs.
  15. Reston36's Avatar
    You handled the situation fine and its terrible your MIL did not get the hint. Any mother in law should attempt to respect boundaries and privacy for someone that is new to your life. The fact that she kept trying to open your bedroom door after you confronted her only shows she only cared about acting on her own interests and not respecting your privacy.

    I think all you can do is be transparent with your boyfriend and be stern with MIL when she crosses the line.
  16. Wildwitch's Avatar
    Wow! You have a keeper of a DH there!

    They are his FOO (family of origin) and he knows them better than you ever will despite your years of being around them. Follow his lead in this. You will have to give up on the idea of being one big happy family. With their attitudes, you wouldn't want your future children around them anyway as they are just likely to bash you to your own kids.

    Don't worry about what they say to others, if they are believed, they are people you don't want to know anyway.

    Live your life in peace with your terrific DH and away from his dysfunctional family.
  17. Wildwitch's Avatar
    Yes, they are her grandparents. But that brings no special treatment when they are nasty. Think, would you want her having contact with people who talk to her like that if they weren't related? Of course not. Sharing some DNA does not make them people you want around your child.
    Your DH is naturally upset about his mother, but he is supporting his daughter, which is the absolutely right thing to do. Leave things with them alone. They will most likely try to initiate contact with you, but make sure it is on your terms. In a public place, without your daughter.
  18. EvilEvilDIL's Avatar
    They have no special rights as grandparents. They were destructive bullies to your daughter. You are all better off without them. Your stress reduction, is telling you something really important. Imagine your daughter having the same stress, but as a child being far less able to cope with it.

    Have a wonderful holiday season without mean and destructive people in it.
  19. BlueBird's Avatar
    Sounds like grandparents don't care about their granddaughter's feelings. Maybe you should put them in time out. If they're concerned about DD weight they can talk to you about it, not tease the poor little girl. I say that you, DH, and DD should have a nice family holiday without them this year. Don't let them ruin your Christmas.

    And on a side note about DD, maybe now is a good time to start teaching her some good nutritional habits. A six year old shouldn't be worried about her weight and asking if food is fattening. Eating disorders can start at a very early age, so make sure she knows the difference between being skinny and being healthy.
  20. Whoever's Avatar
    Don't let the ILs stay at your home ever again. This is your DD's home, her sanctuary. To allow the ILs to stay at your home would be telling DD she doesn't matter as you are inviting her bullies into her safe place.

    Stop chasing these bullies. There is a reason besides distance that the other grandchildren never see them.

    Whoever
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