Blog Comments

  1. Whoever's Avatar
    Would you rather be happy or would you rather live in h3ll? Stop combining your money with theirs. Save it, move and tell your mommy's boy DuH he can move with you and be your husband or he can stay with his mommy and be divorced.

    Whoever
  2. Anony1's Avatar
    First, I would not tell her about anything you buy for your child. If you visit them put something on her where if they buy the same for their other granddaughter it won't bother you. Or something you know they already bought etc. I hate competitive women like this. Try to keep as much of your stuff private as you can. She likely copies you because she is insecure about her daughter's parenting style so she looks to see what others are doing. She is probably also a jealous person, which is why she feels the need for her daughter to outdo you constantly. Ignore her attempts to one up you. If she talks about her other granddaughter's latest accomplishments, just nod and say that's great then change the subject. If she asks personal questions about your daughter be general in your responses and don't give her any details she can use against you later on. And, distance how often you see her. If you stop giving her information, she won't have anything to compete with any longer. Try asking your husband to confront his mother about her behavior in giving your child less attention to prevent her from making your daughter feel inadequate in the future. I would make it clear that if that continues she won't be a part of the child's life at all. The last thing you want is for her to develop a psychological issue because of this woman.
  3. indian dil's Avatar
    the issue is that my hubby wants to stay in hi parents' house with me.. he does not want to move.. I am stuck with a horrid mil who interferes like it is the only thing in the world that she has to do...
  4. kateplus5's Avatar
    Get your own home. Get your own food. Get your own life.
  5. Whoever's Avatar
    No 7-week old should be away from its mother. Period. And he should not be visiting people as his immune system is not yet developed. Check with your pediatrician. Even when he is older, he should never be left alone with her because she is unsteady. Not "fair" to MIL but your priority is the safety of your son.

    Stop answering the phone every time she calls. In fact, do NOT ever answer when she calls. When you do, in her mind it means you have nothing else to do. Let DH call his mother, after all, he doesn't call your mother to chat for hours at a time, does he? His mother, his problem. BTW, DH does NOT get to take your 7-week old infant away from you to visit his mommy. He has to man up and be a dad. Don't let him try to guilt you into doing this either. It is NOT your job, nor DH's, to keep his mother happy. That is her responsibility alone.

    If you do get trapped into talking with MIL on the phone, tell her you only have a few minutes to talk. Don't JADE - Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain - because that will give her points to attack. "No" is a complete sentence. If, or rather when, she keeps rambling on, quickly say, "Gotta go, the cat's on fire" then IMMEDIATELY hang up. If she ever mentions it or whines to DH, say she obviously misunderstood (another reason she can't have the baby alone, she is delusional).

    Come over to the forums. You'll get more answers or more perspectives.

    Whoever
    Updated Oct 24, 2015 at 12:36 AM by Whoever
  6. Whoever's Avatar
    I agree with the pressing charges. You had witnesses at the bank.

    What did your DH say about his mother assaulting you? Or is he a mommy's boy DuH?

    Whoever
  7. Whoever's Avatar
    I hope you told this neighbor and MIL that you were NOT giving your playset to anyone and that MIL greatly overstepped her boundaries.

    I'd put MIL in a TO. Change your locks because MIL probably made a copy of the key for herself.

    Whoever
  8. Whoever's Avatar
    Move. Let her see how much she enjoys living on 2/3 less money than before.

    Whoever
  9. Whoever's Avatar
    Owendy is right. Your "fiance" is married to his mommy and you are the other woman, just the booty call, cook/housekeeper and source of financing for him and mommy dearest to have a house.

    Did you contribute financially, at all (e.g. closing costs, any fees) to the purchase of the house? Do you contribute, at all, to the mortgage or taxes? If you have, go see a shark-like divorce attorney about getting this money back, with or without interest. If you haven't, pack up all your stuff, as well as thing you purchased for the house and half (financial wise) of things you shared the cost, put it in a U-Haul truck and leave. Maybe go back to where your sons and grandchildren live but put a lot of distance between you and this mommy's boy.

    Speak to an attorney about a Cease-and-Desist letter, as well as criminal charges, against his sister for her threats against you. You can also report her to her ISP and the FCC for her threats. BTW, what did your "fiance" ever say to/about his sister threatening you? I would sit your "fiance" and his mommy dearest down and tell them you don't know what lies his mommy is telling the sister but it stops now. In fact, do not interact with his mommy dearest in any way any more.

    You know that your "fiance" isn't going to have mommy dearest move out so start planning your move now. No more money into a joint account and put your pay into a new and different account at a different bank so they can't get their hands on it. Do NOT pay a dime or lift a finger when her grandson gets there. I'd also stop cooking for her, doing her laundry or cleaning for her in any way. If she leaves her dirty dishes about, she doesn't get to use any clean ones until she washes them or puts them in the dishwasher. Stop contributing so much to their household (it isn't yours, you know). Tell them your hours were cut, maybe in half, and that you are looking for a new job. Tell your boss not to tell a soul ANYTHING and give him/her a brief explanation so they can have your back. Put that money you are no longer giving them into your new account to help with your move. Get a PO Box and use that as the address for everything, even mail from the bank and the address for the account (perfectly legal). And stop having s3x with this mommy's boy.

    Start your plans now and give yourself a deadline to get out. Your "fiance" never had any plans to marry you, he just wanted to use you. He is NEVER going to have mommy dearest move out, either.

    Whoever
  10. Owendy's Avatar
    Sorry to say, you were duped. This man is married to mama. Time to plan an exit strategy.
  11. Poweranni's Avatar
    She is out if line there. She wants to dominate and call the shots and owning the holidays is her strategy.
  12. indian dil's Avatar
    Hi, that behaviour was sure very rude, best thing would be to ignore her completely provided your hubby understands n supports you !
  13. hunusrock's Avatar
    No, but my heart goes out to you. I can only frickin I imagine.
  14. phoenix's Avatar
    I hope you pressed charges
  15. sanseeker's Avatar
    I did not get married until after I had been with my "finance/ BF" for 20 years, after we had kids. I had several reasons for waiting and one was fear of the "MIL". I could tell in the beginning she overlooked many/most of her own and her son's faults but was interested in judging mine. She still gets on my nerves. MIL's in general are annoying because they are like an eternal guest to a party who were never invited. Even if she is nice, I find it hard to really like/love her, and sometimes I feel bad about that, but its hard to forget stuff she did/said in the beginning. It's really just that we come from such different backgrounds, and she got divorced and depended a lot on her son, also it's generational.

    Getting married on its own is hard enough without pressure from relatives.
  16. caranfin's Avatar
    Are you happy with the relationship as it is? I.e., dating forever, never living together or getting married? If so, tell him the only thing that's going to change is that you're no longer going to have any interaction with his mother.

    But if you're looking for a long-term, hopefully permanent relationship, you already know the answer. You're not going to get it with this guy. You're very wise to be afraid of moving into him and mommy's little love nest. Don't do it. Cut your losses and let him loose.
  17. Moggy The Outlaw's Avatar
    Do not move in there under any circumstances. Whoever is right, you aren't his priority and you would have no rights whatsoever in that household. She would make your life (and your child's life) a complete misery.
  18. Whoever's Avatar
    Don't just run, RUN. BF is not only a momma's boy, but has been spousified by his mother. If you moved in, you would have absolutely NO rights. You certainly aren't his priority.

    Come on over to the forums and post this there. You'll get a LOT more feedback.

    Whoever
  19. CookbooksRStillUs's Avatar
    Re her complaints about odors in your home: "I'm so sorry you're uncomfortable in our home. There's a Holiday Inn Express over by the mall. I'm sure you'll be comfortable there."
  20. CookbooksRStillUs's Avatar
    Talking to her about this stuff is useless. *His* behavior needs to change. He needs to move out. He needs to ignore her guilt trips. He needs to learn to say "no", and then refuse to be drawn into any argument or discussion of that no -- to hang up or walk away if she's having a tantrum. If he cannot do these things, RUN.
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