Blog Comments

  1. Skooter's Avatar
    Dump your husband.
  2. Skooter's Avatar
    I very much appreciate you sharing this information. I've always wondered what the Finnish system was like, having heard brief references to it by a Finnish friend. It's encouraging to know that at least one country is sane and civilized enough to provide this kind of health care. What a great break for you to be part of this system. Thank you and best of luck.
  3. Skooter's Avatar
    Run for your life. Run like an Olympic sprinter setting a new world's record. Seriously. You have no idea the world of pain and insanity that awaits you if you stay.
  4. taffy's Avatar
    Run. You bent over backward for this guy and his family only to be treated badly. This is going to get worse. You BF doesn't have control over his life, his mother does. If this were me, I'd tell him to get back and keep that control or I am out here.
  5. Random Internet stranger's Avatar
    If you have to ask, you know the answer. He doesn't stck up for you. Are you a team making your way through the world, helping each other whenever needed? No, and it's not going to get better.
  6. Renyg11's Avatar
    Run, Forest, run!!! Is this really what you want to marry into?
  7. caranfin's Avatar
    You already know the answer to this. RUN.

    He is not going to change. His parents are not going to change. If you're not willing to accept them the way they are right now (and God, you SHOULD NOT BE), don't marry him hoping things will get better. They won't. Cut your losses now and RUN.
  8. sj1980's Avatar
    Actually what I'm thinking is why the heck don't you find a way to move out?
  9. ARGENT SNAIL's Avatar
    It is not a perfect system, but I think most people do better than under the US system. In both systems you have people who are unhappy, or get less than optimal care, but in general it is a lot better under this system than the US.

    Because a lot of the profit motive is missing in health care, there are lots of unexpected benefits. For instance, when you have a baby you can stay in the hospital up to one week, if you want. It is not required, but it is available. The babies room with the mother and the father can be with the mother all the time, so it lets the mother get support and rest should she wish it. And in big cities such as Helsinki, there is a separate hospital just for giving birth, so there is little exposure to typical hospital germs. Obviously they can't do it out in the country where they might deliver one baby a week, but where they have the population to support it, they do.

    Oh yes, mothers typically use a midwife when having a baby, but a doctor is always available if necessary. The Finnish infant mortality average for the last three years was tied for 5th lowest place with Norway, while the USA's was 35th, showing the Finnish to be doing a lot better than the USA.
  10. insaneintheMILbrain's Avatar
    Wow! So different than US. If we had that system here DH's care would be totally different. Thanks for writing about it.
  11. insaneintheMILbrain's Avatar
    Hi! I just found blogs on here. If you are still doing it, my DH wants to know about medical care and higher education. Thanks.
  12. Pamme64's Avatar
    The stress of being a cancer patient is not something you can begin to understand until you have lived it or have been the support person of a cancer patient. Poor Birdy.

    Maybe it is time for her to block these idiots.
  13. caranfin's Avatar
    << He hung up the phone, looked at Birdy and said “your mother will kill my mother, and I don’t want to be responsible.”>>

    Well, apparently the dear boy does have a tiny lick of sense.
  14. mharbourgirl's Avatar
    One of those weeks, is it? Deep breaths, honey. This too shall pass. Now take a look at everything you've written and identify the flaws in your logic.

    Your DH is human. He's going to have his ridiculous moments and as frustrating as they are, they're really not that big of a deal in the long run. Ignore his moaning about doing household chores. As long as he does them, you don't have to take his whining personally, because it's not. He's just having a lazy moment and KNOWS he's being a twit. As for the stew thing, well, HE's going to be the one eating it, so if it tastes bad that's all on him. Why someone would cook a giant pot of stew and fix it so people won't eat it is beyond me, though. That's REALLY stupid. The point of cooking is to eat the stuff that's cooked, that's WHY you cook. So he's just being an idiot. Tell him he'd BETTER eat that entire batch, because wasting money on food just isn't on. And then forget about it. Really, forget about it. It's an attention-getting ploy, that's all, and you know better than to give him the attention he's childishly seeking.

    As for your daughters, I'm surprised at you, Shiksa. Look at what you just wrote. Why are you expecting Lulu to be the social secretary for Birdy? Yes, things are tough for Birdy right now, I have tons of sympathy for her. But you need to give her space too. She will see your number on her phone if she wasn't able/willing to answer it at that moment, and she'll call you back when she's up for it, I'm quite certain. Stop putting poor Lulu in the middle and then getting upset when SHE gets upset at you. Lulu IS worried about her sister, but I don't think she's supposed to monitor Birdy's every twitch and breath. Your daughters are adults. Do them the credit of treating them as such and give them their space. Respect Lulu's desire NOT to be the watchdog for Birdy. I think that will go a long way towards easing the tension between you.

    The woman in your class - honey, some people are just arses. Now you know that she's not interested in any sort of friendly relationship with you, you can consign her to oblivion in your head and get on with the class. She is truly not worth wasting energy on with a reaction like that. Same with old friend who digs up 30-year-old dirt on high school classmates. That's a juvenile, immature thing to do and now you know what sort of a person she really is. Not the sort of person you want in your life, because who's to say she's not dropping little nasty gems about YOU to other people? Cut her out of your life and call it a day. She's shown you who she really is - believe her.

    I've had the week from hell too, honey, I am nothing but sympathetic. I just think you need to step back and examine things from a slightly broader viewpoint. You're starting to take things far too personally - that's not healthy in the long run.

    Now go be nice to yourself for a while - bubble bath, long walk, indulgent dessert, whatever will lift your spirits, and remember that there are a whole lot of people who love you, both here and in your family. Your husband loves you, your daughters love you, even if they're getting up your nose right now. Just make sure that you aren't also getting up THEIR noses, and eventually things will settle down.

    HUGS
  15. mharbourgirl's Avatar
    The wikipedia article is pretty long and indicates there could be all sorts of causes for this sort of thing. One thing that jumped out at me was a recent increase in blood pressure is sometimes the cause. Have you checked your blood pressure lately? My DH had regular nosebleeds for quite a few years in his teens and early 20's, caused by severe hay fever. His nose would run so bad with pollen and dust and grass allergies that it'd start to bleed. He seems to have grown out of that, though.

    I would suggest finding a new doctor. If your doctor isn't actually listening to you, find one that will. If this has only started happening recently for you, it indicates that SOMETHING has changed in your health status and it needs to be investigated, because there are just so many different things that might be the cause.
  16. ARGENT SNAIL's Avatar
    I am trying to comment on this. Did this work?

    Argent Snail
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