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This is terrible and this is the first time I've come across such a situation, I think you should make it clear to your husband about this.
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Hmm! She has no right to invade your privacy. I also live in a joint family and am pursuing my higher education at the same time but my MIL never objects to anything. In fact; she was the one who found[url=https://www.usessaywriter.com/essay-writing-service-in-los-angeles/]Essay Help in Los Angeles[/url] for me from where I have been taking academic assistance.
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It's completely normal to want to know when a guest plans on leaving. Your DH is deflecting on you.He wants to save his mommy, even at your expense. Stop trying for a baby until you both can get into couples counseling. Sart setting boundaries now. Text her (include your husband in the chat) how long she has to stay and some ground rules (don't invite guest without asking ,knock before entering, no rearranging furniture). Make it clear that this is still Your house and she needs to respect you as suck. Beggars cannot be choosers. She only needs a place to stay because SHE screwed up. You aren't responsible for her mistakes. She's not giving you a plan because she doesn't intend on moving out. She is an adult and she needs to take care of herself. She needs to learn the consequences of her actions: she can be homeless or live in YOUR house under YOUR rules. Don't let her move in until you have a move out date. She can show up at your door, but you don't have to let her in. If you do let her move in with you, see if you can stay with your mother for a week or two. Most husbands get tired of their mothers real quick when wifey isn't around to act as a buffer.
You wanting to know some answers and timelines is reasonable. That your DuH is mad at you for asking these questions, is a huge red flag. You should stop trying for a child with your husband (double up on birth control that you control) for now until you know where you stand. I'm sorry you need to be here. Welcome.
Originally Posted by modfern Few members read the blogs. Come over to the main forum and post there. Boundaries between parents and child living with them should be set before they stay with them.
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Do you speak up/stand up for yourself?
Thanks for feedback. I do think Dil is looking to be offended so she can tell my son. Do you think this is mirroring relationship with her father. You find something to hurt him (& son has said its breaking his heart) argue about it & he has to reaffirm his love commitment to her. I thought communication was two way street so we can understand each other better give & take on both sides. Apologies if some of post is duplicated.
Post this on forum. You are a strong person. That's too much for you to carry around.
Originally Posted by modfern Come over to the main forums and repost. Not a lot of people read the blogs. I don’t have the option to post there.. if I do, I can’t figure out how! 😔
Come over to the main forums and repost. Not a lot of people read the blogs.
You handled the situation fine and its terrible your MIL did not get the hint. Any mother in law should attempt to respect boundaries and privacy for someone that is new to your life. The fact that she kept trying to open your bedroom door after you confronted her only shows she only cared about acting on her own interests and not respecting your privacy. I think all you can do is be transparent with your boyfriend and be stern with MIL when she crosses the line.
Yes, they are her grandparents. But that brings no special treatment when they are nasty. Think, would you want her having contact with people who talk to her like that if they weren't related? Of course not. Sharing some DNA does not make them people you want around your child. Your DH is naturally upset about his mother, but he is supporting his daughter, which is the absolutely right thing to do. Leave things with them alone. They will most likely try to initiate contact with you, but make sure it is on your terms. In a public place, without your daughter.
They have no special rights as grandparents. They were destructive bullies to your daughter. You are all better off without them. Your stress reduction, is telling you something really important. Imagine your daughter having the same stress, but as a child being far less able to cope with it. Have a wonderful holiday season without mean and destructive people in it.
Sounds like grandparents don't care about their granddaughter's feelings. Maybe you should put them in time out. If they're concerned about DD weight they can talk to you about it, not tease the poor little girl. I say that you, DH, and DD should have a nice family holiday without them this year. Don't let them ruin your Christmas. And on a side note about DD, maybe now is a good time to start teaching her some good nutritional habits. A six year old shouldn't be worried about her weight and asking if food is fattening. Eating disorders can start at a very early age, so make sure she knows the difference between being skinny and being healthy.
Don't let the ILs stay at your home ever again. This is your DD's home, her sanctuary. To allow the ILs to stay at your home would be telling DD she doesn't matter as you are inviting her bullies into her safe place. Stop chasing these bullies. There is a reason besides distance that the other grandchildren never see them. Whoever
Your MIL doesn't like you, never has and never will. Stop trying. What does DH say when his mother does all of this to you? DH can still have a relationship with his father without including his mother. Whoever P.S. You posted this twice.
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