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  12. Reston36's Avatar
    You handled the situation fine and its terrible your MIL did not get the hint. Any mother in law should attempt to respect boundaries and privacy for someone that is new to your life. The fact that she kept trying to open your bedroom door after you confronted her only shows she only cared about acting on her own interests and not respecting your privacy.

    I think all you can do is be transparent with your boyfriend and be stern with MIL when she crosses the line.
  13. Wildwitch's Avatar
    Wow! You have a keeper of a DH there!

    They are his FOO (family of origin) and he knows them better than you ever will despite your years of being around them. Follow his lead in this. You will have to give up on the idea of being one big happy family. With their attitudes, you wouldn't want your future children around them anyway as they are just likely to bash you to your own kids.

    Don't worry about what they say to others, if they are believed, they are people you don't want to know anyway.

    Live your life in peace with your terrific DH and away from his dysfunctional family.
  14. Wildwitch's Avatar
    Yes, they are her grandparents. But that brings no special treatment when they are nasty. Think, would you want her having contact with people who talk to her like that if they weren't related? Of course not. Sharing some DNA does not make them people you want around your child.
    Your DH is naturally upset about his mother, but he is supporting his daughter, which is the absolutely right thing to do. Leave things with them alone. They will most likely try to initiate contact with you, but make sure it is on your terms. In a public place, without your daughter.
  15. EvilEvilDIL's Avatar
    They have no special rights as grandparents. They were destructive bullies to your daughter. You are all better off without them. Your stress reduction, is telling you something really important. Imagine your daughter having the same stress, but as a child being far less able to cope with it.

    Have a wonderful holiday season without mean and destructive people in it.
  16. BlueBird's Avatar
    Sounds like grandparents don't care about their granddaughter's feelings. Maybe you should put them in time out. If they're concerned about DD weight they can talk to you about it, not tease the poor little girl. I say that you, DH, and DD should have a nice family holiday without them this year. Don't let them ruin your Christmas.

    And on a side note about DD, maybe now is a good time to start teaching her some good nutritional habits. A six year old shouldn't be worried about her weight and asking if food is fattening. Eating disorders can start at a very early age, so make sure she knows the difference between being skinny and being healthy.
  17. Whoever's Avatar
    Don't let the ILs stay at your home ever again. This is your DD's home, her sanctuary. To allow the ILs to stay at your home would be telling DD she doesn't matter as you are inviting her bullies into her safe place.

    Stop chasing these bullies. There is a reason besides distance that the other grandchildren never see them.

  18. Whoever's Avatar
    What does your DH/DuH say when MIL behaves this way? Is MIL's name on the deed to the house? If not, she has no claim to the house.

    Speak to a landlord/tenant attorney and begin the eviction procedure. Take down MIL's carp from all over your house and put it in boxes in her room. If she puts it back, the stuff goes in the trash. When the eviction date arrives, call the sheriff's department to help evict her. Change the locks immediately.

    And, please, stop apologizing to this woman. She views this as a weakness plus, you have no reason to apologize.

    Get DH/DuH into therapy with a non-unicorn therapist. He is every bit as much of a problem as MIL. He let her move in and treat you like carp. If MIL ever touches you or pushes you down again, call the police and press charges. Then get an RO, which will keep her out of your house.

    Come on over to the forums for more advice.
  19. far far away's Avatar
    Why is your MIL living with you. Is the mortgage in your DH’ and your names? Where is your DH on this? I would give her notice to vacate, whatever notice the law in your state requires. If she won’t leave, have the sheriff or police remove her. Then change the locks on the door and don’t let her in. Remove her crap from your house and put it in a trash bag outside the house for her along with her clothes.
  20. modfern's Avatar
    Come over to the main forum. It gets a lot more traffic.
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