Blog Comments

  1. BlueBird's Avatar
    It's completely normal to want to know when a guest plans on leaving. Your DH is deflecting on you.He wants to save his mommy, even at your expense. Stop trying for a baby until you both can get into couples counseling.

    Sart setting boundaries now. Text her (include your husband in the chat) how long she has to stay and some ground rules (don't invite guest without asking ,knock before entering, no rearranging furniture). Make it clear that this is still Your house and she needs to respect you as suck. Beggars cannot be choosers.

    She only needs a place to stay because SHE screwed up. You aren't responsible for her mistakes. She's not giving you a plan because she doesn't intend on moving out. She is an adult and she needs to take care of herself. She needs to learn the consequences of her actions: she can be homeless or live in YOUR house under YOUR rules. Don't let her move in until you have a move out date. She can show up at your door, but you don't have to let her in.

    If you do let her move in with you, see if you can stay with your mother for a week or two. Most husbands get tired of their mothers real quick when wifey isn't around to act as a buffer.
  2. EvilEvilDIL's Avatar
    You wanting to know some answers and timelines is reasonable. That your DuH is mad at you for asking these questions, is a huge red flag. You should stop trying for a child with your husband (double up on birth control that you control) for now until you know where you stand. I'm sorry you need to be here. Welcome.
  3. rjalmaza's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by modfern
    Few members read the blogs. Come over to the main forum and post there.
    Boundaries between parents and child living with them should be set before they stay with them.
  4. Roman Jay Almaza's Avatar
    Congratulations to the new blessing.
  5. sweety's Avatar
    Do you speak up/stand up for yourself?
  6. Jazzy's Avatar
    Thanks for feedback. I do think Dil is looking to be offended so she can tell my son. Do you think this is mirroring relationship with her father. You find something to hurt him (& son has said its breaking his heart) argue about it & he has to reaffirm his love commitment to her.
    I thought communication was two way street so we can understand each other better give & take on both sides. Apologies if some of post is duplicated.
  7. CSmith's Avatar
    Post this on forum.

    You are a strong person. That's too much for you to carry around.
  8. Mrsmamasboy's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by modfern
    Come over to the main forums and repost. Not a lot of people read the blogs.
    I donít have the option to post there.. if I do, I canít figure out how! 😔
  9. modfern's Avatar
    Come over to the main forums and repost. Not a lot of people read the blogs.
  10. Reston36's Avatar
    You handled the situation fine and its terrible your MIL did not get the hint. Any mother in law should attempt to respect boundaries and privacy for someone that is new to your life. The fact that she kept trying to open your bedroom door after you confronted her only shows she only cared about acting on her own interests and not respecting your privacy.

    I think all you can do is be transparent with your boyfriend and be stern with MIL when she crosses the line.
  11. Wildwitch's Avatar
    Yes, they are her grandparents. But that brings no special treatment when they are nasty. Think, would you want her having contact with people who talk to her like that if they weren't related? Of course not. Sharing some DNA does not make them people you want around your child.
    Your DH is naturally upset about his mother, but he is supporting his daughter, which is the absolutely right thing to do. Leave things with them alone. They will most likely try to initiate contact with you, but make sure it is on your terms. In a public place, without your daughter.
  12. EvilEvilDIL's Avatar
    They have no special rights as grandparents. They were destructive bullies to your daughter. You are all better off without them. Your stress reduction, is telling you something really important. Imagine your daughter having the same stress, but as a child being far less able to cope with it.

    Have a wonderful holiday season without mean and destructive people in it.
  13. BlueBird's Avatar
    Sounds like grandparents don't care about their granddaughter's feelings. Maybe you should put them in time out. If they're concerned about DD weight they can talk to you about it, not tease the poor little girl. I say that you, DH, and DD should have a nice family holiday without them this year. Don't let them ruin your Christmas.

    And on a side note about DD, maybe now is a good time to start teaching her some good nutritional habits. A six year old shouldn't be worried about her weight and asking if food is fattening. Eating disorders can start at a very early age, so make sure she knows the difference between being skinny and being healthy.
  14. Whoever's Avatar
    Don't let the ILs stay at your home ever again. This is your DD's home, her sanctuary. To allow the ILs to stay at your home would be telling DD she doesn't matter as you are inviting her bullies into her safe place.

    Stop chasing these bullies. There is a reason besides distance that the other grandchildren never see them.

  15. Whoever's Avatar
    Your MIL doesn't like you, never has and never will. Stop trying. What does DH say when his mother does all of this to you?

    DH can still have a relationship with his father without including his mother.


    P.S. You posted this twice.
  16. Whoever's Avatar
    Your DH is using you as a meatshield for his mother. If he cannot stand to be around her, why should you be put into that position?

    Start locking all your doors. Tell her she has to call at least a day in advance and ASK if it would be ok to visit. No telling you she is coming as she pulls into your driveway. Better yet, tell her she has to wait until invited. Then, when she tries to get into your house, tell her it is not a good time and since she didn't call to ask if it was ok to visit or wait for an invitation, she'll have to go home. then step away from the door.

    It seems neither you nor DH have given MIL any consequences for her actions. Next time she does something like this, and you know there will be a next time, put her in a three month TO. Second offense and it has six months added on.
  17. far far away's Avatar
    I think that you really have no reason to see or talk to your MIL. If your DH can't stand to be around his mother for 15 minutes, why should you have to be around her at all? If I were you I believe I'd block her number from your phone and, a big one, lock your door so she can't walk in.
  18. pinot_noir's Avatar
    I think you should move back to your parents' house and take your baby with you. If FIL cannot stand to live with MIL, I don't see why you should. If DH wants his wife and child to live with him he'll have to sort the situation out.

    You may find you'll get more responses if you post on the forums. The blogs were added as a new feature when the site software was upgraded but they aren't used much.
  19. outcast47's Avatar
    I honestly would do a timeout and explicitly tell her that she is being unreasonable. You don't need someone causing problems before the child is born. Mine was horrible too, in different ways. She kept telling people "We're having twins" when my wife was the only one pregnant, like she had anything to do with it. After the 7th month, my wife lost her filter and told her off in front of people.
  20. EvilEvilDIL's Avatar
    Put MIL on a timeout until well after the birth. She's earned it. You can revisit the decision once you see how she behaves.

    Only's are awesome. And yes - head over to the boards!
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