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Yes, they are her grandparents. But that brings no special treatment when they are nasty. Think, would you want her having contact with people who talk to her like that if they weren't related? Of course not. Sharing some DNA does not make them people you want around your child.
Your DH is naturally upset about his mother, but he is supporting his daughter, which is the absolutely right thing to do. Leave things with them alone. They will most likely try to initiate contact with you, but make sure it is on your terms. In a public place, without your daughter.

They have no special rights as grandparents. They were destructive bullies to your daughter. You are all better off without them. Your stress reduction, is telling you something really important. Imagine your daughter having the same stress, but as a child being far less able to cope with it.

Have a wonderful holiday season without mean and destructive people in it.

Sounds like grandparents don't care about their granddaughter's feelings. Maybe you should put them in time out. If they're concerned about DD weight they can talk to you about it, not tease the poor little girl. I say that you, DH, and DD should have a nice family holiday without them this year. Don't let them ruin your Christmas.

And on a side note about DD, maybe now is a good time to start teaching her some good nutritional habits. A six year old shouldn't be worried about her weight and asking if food is fattening. Eating disorders can start at a very early age, so make sure she knows the difference between being skinny and being healthy.

Don't let the ILs stay at your home ever again. This is your DD's home, her sanctuary. To allow the ILs to stay at your home would be telling DD she doesn't matter as you are inviting her bullies into her safe place.

Stop chasing these bullies. There is a reason besides distance that the other grandchildren never see them.

Whoever

Your MIL doesn't like you, never has and never will. Stop trying. What does DH say when his mother does all of this to you?

DH can still have a relationship with his father without including his mother.

Whoever

P.S. You posted this twice.

Your DH is using you as a meatshield for his mother. If he cannot stand to be around her, why should you be put into that position?

Start locking all your doors. Tell her she has to call at least a day in advance and ASK if it would be ok to visit. No telling you she is coming as she pulls into your driveway. Better yet, tell her she has to wait until invited. Then, when she tries to get into your house, tell her it is not a good time and since she didn't call to ask if it was ok to visit or wait for an invitation, she'll have to go home. then step away from the door.

It seems neither you nor DH have given MIL any consequences for her actions. Next time she does something like this, and you know there will be a next time, put her in a three month TO. Second offense and it has six months added on.

I think that you really have no reason to see or talk to your MIL. If your DH can't stand to be around his mother for 15 minutes, why should you have to be around her at all? If I were you I believe I'd block her number from your phone and, a big one, lock your door so she can't walk in.

I think you should move back to your parents' house and take your baby with you. If FIL cannot stand to live with MIL, I don't see why you should. If DH wants his wife and child to live with him he'll have to sort the situation out.

You may find you'll get more responses if you post on the forums. The blogs were added as a new feature when the site software was upgraded but they aren't used much.

I honestly would do a timeout and explicitly tell her that she is being unreasonable. You don't need someone causing problems before the child is born. Mine was horrible too, in different ways. She kept telling people "We're having twins" when my wife was the only one pregnant, like she had anything to do with it. After the 7th month, my wife lost her filter and told her off in front of people.

Put MIL on a timeout until well after the birth. She's earned it. You can revisit the decision once you see how she behaves.

Only's are awesome. And yes - head over to the boards!

Hey, Ellie, come on over to the main forum and unoad. Not a lot of people read the blogs.

You are a very lucky woman!

Great to hear!

Few members read the blogs. Come over to the main forum and post there.

It's reasonable to want to know how long she's staying and what her plans are. Before she moves in you and your husband need to talk about boundaries, such as how long she can stay for, house rules, etc.

Time for drop the rope and a 180. His mom, his responsibility. You no longer cook for her, clean the house if she is coming over, buy gifts, email her family info, share with her on FB or other social media.

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Drop the rope. Stop letting your SIL cause all the shots. Put her in a long TO like the errant toddler she is.

Remind your DuH that YOU and your DD are his family now or did he not mean his wedding vows. SIL and the rest of his FOO are just extended relatives now.

Whoever

I have that same problem only my mil makes it seem like im the mean one and all she is doing is staying clear but she dropped off money and didn't bother to knock on the door and say hello...

There is NOTHING you can do or say to get MIL to be a decent person in this situation. I'm guessing she does other things she does too that are over the line. Your only option is to remove yourself from the situation that gives her all the power, and to put boundaries on any time you might spend with her in the future.

1. Long lasting Birth Control, do NOT bring children into this family.
2. Save up to rent a place for just you.
3. When you have saved up first/last/deposit, tell DuH you are moving out in two weeks, with or without him. I know he wants to live with mumsie. He's welcome to do that, it will just be without you. He can sleep with her.