POSTED 30 NOV 2010 - from FFH page

Rate this Entry
Now, on to a more personal story - it always starts with the wedding: DH and I lived in a different state from his family, but he wanted to get married in his home state. Two weeks before the wedding, I went to stay with his parents, and everything was fine. They were very accommodating. That was VASTLY different to the rest of the wedding planning time. Being Australian, our wedding was Australian. I'm not talking koalas and kangaroos everywhere. I mean Aussie customs and traditions. I saw no need to do American traditions, when the wedding is usually about the bride. DH (then DF) didn't care either way. I didn't even realize that there were differences until I kept getting them pointed out to me.

I was told, a few days before the wedding, that I was expected to give corsages to the mothers of the bride and groom. As my mother was unable to attend due to various reasons, I carefully explained to them that I felt it was insulting to my mother to see something "special" done for the mothers, and she wasn't able to be there (I had the wedding videoed). I was told that it wasn't anything special; that it was normal. I said, as it wasn't an Aussie tradition, that when my mother saw the video she would see it as something special. I didn't want her feeling worse, about not being able to attend, than she already did.

I planned on sending invites to individuals. We don't do "and family" because it's rude, and because "and family" is too obscure. I wanted to make it obvious as to who was invited, not their aunt's sister's daughter's son. It also helps with the RSVPs and seating numbers.

I planned on assigned seating.

We wanted a small wedding, but allowed his mother to write the list of their family and friends, because DH didn't want to risk not inviting someone that should be invited.

My plans went out the window. MIL didn't get the list to me till about a month and a half before the wedding, so sending out the invites was very hurried. Even though we put both our emails and cell numbers on the invites, we got RSVPs from 40 of the 100 or so people who got invites. Several of those were people calling MIL to tell her. SIL said that she wanted to bring her friends, and she gave us 2 names. No problem. About 10 of her friends ended up coming. Of the 40 people who had RSVP'd, maybe 20 came to the ceremony. According to our food costs, 85 came to the reception. MIL invited people from her work, even though we told her to clear it with us first. She wrote an OPEN invitation to friends and family in the newspaper, including times, dates, and venue locations, so my seating plans went out the window. No one wanted to dance, and the DJ left at 10:30 PM

MIL was insane with the camera. We'd already told her that the official photographer wanted to take her photos first, so that people weren't confused about which camera/person to look at. That did not happen. I will say that MIL got some nice photos.

We got cards from 5 people, out of the 85 that attended. If you include family numbers, that's less than 20 people, in total, who gave us a card. I'm not saying that I wanted presents, it's just rude to not even take a card to a wedding! SIL posted photos of herself, in her bridesmaid's dress, on a social site. She called it "Shenanigans". She didn't even acknowledge that they were from our wedding. Because we had to feed those who were not expected to come, we ended up almost not affording the honeymoon. The money we had set aside had to be reassigned to pay food bills. Luckily, we got enough money as wedding presents to make it work.

Signed - Wedding Do's and Don'ts

Submit "POSTED 30 NOV 2010 - from FFH page" to Digg Submit "POSTED 30 NOV 2010 - from FFH page" to Submit "POSTED 30 NOV 2010 - from FFH page" to StumbleUpon Submit "POSTED 30 NOV 2010 - from FFH page" to Google



Leave Comment Leave Comment

The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What

Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
Secret Paths
Women in the New Midlife

Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S

To See More Books By
Dr. Terri Apter
Click Here.