gj22
How do i get my mother in law to back off??
My mother in law drives me crazy! She has health issues so does not work and spends her days at home. This is where she overthinks things and decides to call me and spend hours on the phone which i do not have. Because she is alone during the day she just talks and talks and i barely get a word in! I also prefer to ignore her calls because everytime i do talk to her she makes me feel like i have to say yes to having lunch with her or going around for dinner and to be quite honest i dont want to drive 40minutes for lunch when i have plenty to keep me busy doing my own thing. We have a 7week old son and it is the MIL first grandchild so she is very besotted and obsessed with him as im sure most grandparents are. However i feel like she is overstepping the mark by always trying to pin me down and get me to go and see them whether its dinner or lunch. Now i have nothing against them seeing our boy but i dont want to feel pressured to drive 40minutes to go and visit her or to leave my son alone with her (im not comfortable with it as she is unsteady on her feet and needs a walking frame to get around). I feel like now she has asked my DH is going to feel the pressure from her and they will make me feel like i have to leave him with her and i really dont trust that she is capable to take care of my boy. At the start of my DH and mines relationship she was always going on about making time for each other etc etc and now it seems like she has conveniently forgotten we do need our own time because now she is wanting to make a schedule where they see our son every second sunday which is usually our family day/husband& wife time as my husband plays football on a saturday and i see my mum. I want to be able to say no but i have never been good at that and i dont want to upset anyone but i really get annoyed with all the phone calls and pressure to drop everything and see them when they want.I understand it is there grandchild but unfortunatly they only have 2 sons so will never have the relationship that i have with my mum or that our son will have with my mum because i see my mum regularly and choose to spend time with her. I just want them to understand that unfortunatly they will only get to see our son when we have the time and we cant make a schedule just because they want it.
I feel a bit bad because i feel like i have to put myself out all the time and i dont want them to not see their grandson but i wish they would back off a bit more...
Am i being difficult or should they accept that they cant see him all the time or whenever they want?