Will it always be this way?

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It's been a long time since I have posted on here. I finally had started to let go of all of the anger I had towards MIL in the past. My anger came from the huge difference she made between my daughter and Sil's kids (who are very close in age). It wasn't only that. Also when hubby and I got married she was very distant and negative towards me because SIL wasn't the center of attention at the time. She has always bragged on SIL girl over the tiniest little thing she does. She is almost a year older than my daughter who is 1 year. This doesn't matter at all. I know all kids are different but they sure did brag on SIL baby when she accomplished things like she was so smart and so far ahead of other kids her age. My daughter is hitting her milestones fast. She started walking at an earlier age than sil daughter did. She is doing more than she did at the same age but they can't seem to say one word about it. I'm proud of my daughter and excited she is learning so much right now. It disappointments that they can't seem to brag on her when they bragged on SIL baby for the same thing and it took her longer to do it. It's like no matter what my child does and no matter what the facts are SIL baby has already done it and can do so much more (because she is almost a year older) but that doesn't sink in with them. She stopped comparing them as much now that My daughter is hitting all of the milestones earlier than she did but she brags on SIL baby to everyone ( about her hair, how she does this and that and barely says a word about my daughter.) Things I buy my daughter..she copies them for sil daughter..themes, toys, clothes. It's like she is afraid my daughter is going to have something and be involved in something SIL daughter is not. It's the total opposite when it comes to my daughter. She does things for SIl kids that my daughter doesn't have and do but doesn't try to make sure she has the same. Which is fine because I don't want her to have the same but why is she so stuck on making sure sil baby has everything plus more than my daughter does ? Clothes, toys, fun and more attention. I just don't get it. I had got to where I didn't care but now that my daughter pays more attention to her surroundings and what people say and do around her it's starting to worry me that she is going to feel less important when she is around MIL! WHat is the best way to deal with a situation like this? Im afraid there is no way but to keep a distance from them and pay lots of attention to my daughter when around them.

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  1. Anony1's Avatar
    First, I would not tell her about anything you buy for your child. If you visit them put something on her where if they buy the same for their other granddaughter it won't bother you. Or something you know they already bought etc. I hate competitive women like this. Try to keep as much of your stuff private as you can. She likely copies you because she is insecure about her daughter's parenting style so she looks to see what others are doing. She is probably also a jealous person, which is why she feels the need for her daughter to outdo you constantly. Ignore her attempts to one up you. If she talks about her other granddaughter's latest accomplishments, just nod and say that's great then change the subject. If she asks personal questions about your daughter be general in your responses and don't give her any details she can use against you later on. And, distance how often you see her. If you stop giving her information, she won't have anything to compete with any longer. Try asking your husband to confront his mother about her behavior in giving your child less attention to prevent her from making your daughter feel inadequate in the future. I would make it clear that if that continues she won't be a part of the child's life at all. The last thing you want is for her to develop a psychological issue because of this woman.
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