Bullying MIL
MIL planning a 2nd Wedding to include MIL's family (ONLY)
Hi All - I'm new to these forums and was referred by my sister who has found a lot of comfort from the advice and stories on here.
To sum it up, I'm recently engaged and in the process of putting together our guest list and booking a venue. We are planning to have around 225 guests, and so far we have about 75 friends, 75 from my family and 25 from his family. I asked my fiance for a list of 50 or so more people he would like to add, and when he didn't get around to it due to his busy work schedule, I asked my MIL-to-be if she could provide us with a suggested list.
With that, she responded that she has too big of a family to narrow down and is already planning to have a second wedding celebration at a cheesy local venue with 120+ people from her family. Let's call it "Wedding 2".
I am already excited but stressed about my one big day and DO NOT want to attend a second party with over 100 people who I don't know. All of the guests at Wedding 2 will assume that we intentionally did not invite them to our big, beautiful first wedding and it will seem as though MIL is the hero who was thoughtful enough to include them all at a second party. It will seem to guests that we had a second, cheaper wedding in order to get more wedding "gifts". All that said, we could use their budget for "Wedding 2" for our actual wedding!
I hope this all makes sense. This is just one example of the bully in question.
Thoughts? Am I being whiny and unappreciative and should be grateful for a second wedding, or am I justified in being upset about this?