Aprilms32

What is the worst your mil/fil has done?

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My mil (and fil too) have both done annoying -messed up things in the 12 years I've been with their son. First started with the dad always coming over doing the yard or whatever to our house without really asking just telling us, father being mad that after we married I took over the bills not him ( I hated that my husband would just hand over his check every week), getting married they offered to pay for the wedding but the mom wanted to pick and change things, calling us on our honeymoon MORE than once, then the usual telling us what we should and shouldn't do for 10 years and then I get pregnant and mil would not give up space- at the end she said she was going to but that lasted a day BC she felt the need to call and ask us to go to the movies (8months pregnant-no thanks)- during pregnancy she kept giving us names, wouldn't stop bugging to know the name, let the family throw a horrible short baby shower, she would upset me then accuse me of harming the baby but never stopped what she was doing, she tried to get into the delivery room which caused my husband to have to leave the room to tell her to go home and then she would not let me relax after the baby she wanted to come visit and bring other people with her and everyone should get to hold her blah blah blah.... So if I had to choose for my mil it would be trying to come in the delivery room instead of waiting at home until we tell her to come visit -- they live not even 5 minutes away. And my fil basically think he can do anything to our daughter BC his son is the father- I would say no about something and be like sorry I'm the mom and he'd say well Grady's dad and Grady wasnt even there- he made it impossible to want a good relationship with him BC that was sooo rude and disrespectful. Mom is over grandpa and apparently he doesn't get it I guess BC he got to do whatever with his other grandkids.😡😡so your turn -let's hear it lol

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Comments

  1. Whoever's Avatar
    Does your DH, or is he a DuH, ever stand up for you and tell his parents to back off? When he married you, he promised to Leave-and-Cleave and Forsake-all-others, which includes mommy and daddy.

    Tell your DH if he won't stand up for you, you will do it yourself and he won't be happy.

    Institute some boundaries and hold them firmly in place - no just showing up at your place, they must call and request if it is a good time to come over (you decide how far in advance they must call, an hour, 24 hours, three days or a month) NOT call and say they are on their way over. If they can't/won't do this, don't open the door or even acknowledge them. The ILs can NOT come over if DH isn't there and he MUST stay the entire time they are there. Set a maximum time for these visits, two hours is a reasonable length of time. NO coming over during LO's nap time, feeding times, bath time or bedtime. If they come over and are still there during any of these times, DH must tell them it is time to go. They do NOT get to play mommy. You determine how much time they spend with LO during each visit. DH NEVER gets to take your LO to the altar of mommy without you.

    If the ILs can/will not behave, they get put into a TO. Each TO is double the amount of time of the previous TO. Three TOs in a six month period results in a CO (cut off).

    Remember, "No" is a complete sentence. Do NOT JADE - Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain as this will give them points to attack. You are the mom and you, with DH, determine the rules. The ILs had their chance to raise their kids, now it is your turn. I'll bet MIL never let her MIL interfere like she is.

    Whoever
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