Christmas IL "debockle"

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Some years ago, a young woman wrote the blog entry below. As far as we can tell, she has not been back since.

However, for some reason, this post -- and ONLY this post -- is drawing spammers. Last night I deleted over 85 pages of spam, more than 1700 individual posts. This afternoon when I checked, there were more than 250 pages and more were being generated even as I tried to clear them.

I hate to do this, but when the spamners can generate their sludge so fast, I can see no choice but to delete that post. It is reproduced below.



Christmas In-law debockle Edit Blog Entry
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by NewMom13 , Dec 26, 2013 at 04:10 PM (236247 Views)

I'm posting hoping some other daughter-in-laws and their "experiences" can help me in figuring out what the next step should be in my DH and my "Debockle" (what we're calling it).

There have been issues with my MIL & I since my DH and I started dating. There's many I could share, but my "debockle" is regarding the most recent problem.

MIL texted DH that she would be taking DS from noon – 6 or 7pm on a Sat. or Sun. Which worked for DH. When my DH told me I said “No. 1.) We work all week and would like to see OUR son on the weekend. 2.) He (was at the time) 3 months and doesn’t need to be away from his parents for that long (he’s only away from both of us during the week for 4 hours M-F). And 3.) Why does she need him for so long?” Because of previous manipulating instances prior to this one, I told DH not to call or text his mom, that I was taking care of it. I then calmed down (all day) well enough to call her. It took 5 rings, and she answered… I said “DH mentioned that you were taking DS at Noon – 6 or 7pm either Sat. or Sun. this weekend?” MIL said, “Yeah, we just wanted to see him…” I said calmly, “We were just wondering why for so long?” and she immediately snapped “Just forget it!” and hung up on me. I tried to call her right back, thinking it was a bad connection or something, and it rang twice and went to voicemail. I called DH and told him and he said he couldn’t believe she did that and that he’d talk to her the next day.

Talked to DH the following evening and he had talked to his mom… He said he asked what happened the night before, and she recanted the same thing… except she said I was “Snippy and #####y” and then proceeded to bawl to DH. He said he’d never heard her cry and didn’t know what to say or do. There was silence and then he had to go in to work.

DH called MIL back a few days later and told her how I said I was not snippy and stayed calm; that I had a right to ask the question that I did and she didn’t need to hang up on me. She supposedly told him that I was rude and that I was keeping her grandson from her. DH reiterated to MIL that we asked her before he was born if she could babysit while we were at work, and because it wasn’t “good with her schedule or at her house (our choice – she was a heavy smoker)” she declined. We’d also invited her and FIL over for a football game and refreshments after a ceremony for DS and she decided not to come. DH told her that if she didn’t call me back and apologize that we were not going to be attending this year’s Christmas get-together (that is ALWAYS held) at her place. DH said all MIL said was “OK.”

As time ticked by, there were no calls or texts to DH or myself from MIL. However… her mother (GMIL) made a point to stop by our house while I was at work and DH was home with DS to drop off “our Christmas gift” (cookies that we don’t ever eat) and a “College fund” gift for DS (the College fund gift was a $10 bill). The next day YBIL stopped by to pick up a package from DH and proceded to tell DH how MIL took his wife (YSIL) to lunch and told her about how we weren’t coming to Christmas because “[I] was being #####y about her seeing [DS] and all she wanted was to see him for 3 hours or so…” ((Yes, this ensued steaming ears!)) DH showed YBIL the original texted and said we didn’t know if we were going because MIL hasn’t called [me] yet.

Two days before Christmas, OBIL sent DH a text saying “10:30 – Christmas” and DH bluntly responded the same way… “If we go it won’t be until noon at the earliest (this was a decision we made when we found out DS was on the way – so we got Christmas morning with our children) and [MIL] still hasn’t called [me]. “

Christmas Eve came and went without a word from anyone on his side. Christmas morning – nothing. Christmas Day – nothing. Christmas evening… YBIL and YSIL sent DH and myself a “Merry Christmas” text.

I know I have to stand up for myself and MIL needs to respect me and my husband’s and mine’s relationship, as well as the fact that we are the parents of DS… not her. But I find it hard that no one could at least accept that they were in the wrong and call to apologize… or AT LEAST text “Merry Christmas” to my husband. This issue is between MIL and me… not DH or DS. All I would like is to stop brushing everything under a rug, get all of the issues out in the open, and move on like adults.

Does anyone have any advice? Should we cut our losses and be thankful, or try to mend fences? I want to be the bigger person, but I don’t know if that is standing my ground and wait it out for the call/apology… or confront MIL and let all the dirt out of the bag…

Thanks for reading and letting me vent.

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