Sadie

In-laws won't respect husband's wishes.

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Hi, everyone! I am new here and I am still trying to learn the ropes. So, please bear with me!

My husband and I have been married for four years and together for six. We started dating in high school and got married after we graduated. The entire time we were dating and engaged his parents acted like they loved me, but started playing a different tune as soon as we said our vows. After we got married my husband and I moved in together and started trying to live our lives as a couple (fifteen minutes away from his parents). My husband and I would go to his parents a most every weekend and he would go a couple of times during the week whenever I was at work. That's fine. But if he ever decided that he wanted to just spend a weekend with me or bring me along they would get angry with us. This went on and got worse the more we decided to spend time with each other instead of him spending almost every day with his parents. Granted he still would go visit, but I was no longer welcome. They told him that I was interfering with there family time. That is when my husband started trying to put some boundaries up. He limited going to see them and when he did go he took me along also.

Fast forward to now... We bought a house an hour and a half from his parents and my husband is no longer at his parents every beck and call and works away from home seven on and seven off, and I have a full time job as well. The only time we really get to see each other and spend time together is during the weekend that he is home. BUT his parents think that he is supposed to spend the weekend with them and make me stay home alone. My husband has made it clear that we really only get to spend time together about four whole days out of the month. He has told his parents that he will come see them, but to expect me to be with him. They refuse to acknowledge his wishes even when he himself has told them that is what HE wants.

His parents and one my close friends go to church together and she has told me that they even speak bad about us in CHURCH! They say that I am controlling my husband when everything is HIS idea and he has told them that. I have even got to the point that I have told him to go spend time with his parents without me. He has and says that all they do is bad mouth me. He sticks up for me and tries to talk to them, but they refuse to listen.

My husband has now blocked them in his phone so they can't call or text him. I feel terrible that things have come to this not only for my husband, but for our future children should we have any.

I could really use some help. Thanks!

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Mother-In-Law Blog

Comments

  1. Wildwitch's Avatar
    Wow! You have a keeper of a DH there!

    They are his FOO (family of origin) and he knows them better than you ever will despite your years of being around them. Follow his lead in this. You will have to give up on the idea of being one big happy family. With their attitudes, you wouldn't want your future children around them anyway as they are just likely to bash you to your own kids.

    Don't worry about what they say to others, if they are believed, they are people you don't want to know anyway.

    Live your life in peace with your terrific DH and away from his dysfunctional family.
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