Is My MIL Racist or Am I Overly Sensitive -- Need Guidance

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I recently found this blog and I want to thank you ladies for this forum. I've read so many posts and I'm not sure where I fit in. But I'll give you my story and thanks in advance for your input.

My fiancee is Cuban and I'm a black American. He's MIL, who is 80, moved from the eastcoast down south. In a nutshell, we all live together. At first I was OK with the idea b/c I was thinking we could be a family and when we have kids she could be a huge help. A year later, I regret me being so naive. I'll put a few examples below.

On the surface, she comes off really nice and I absolutely adored her. She would be very complimentary to me but then she was always critiquing me. For example, telling me how to wear my make up, how to do my hair, how much she didn't like the way i wore my hair etc.

1. One day we were talking about foster children and she made the comment that she would have had some when she was younger but she only wanted the "pretty mixed ones." She didn't want the little "nappy headed black ones."

2. One day she told me that people would think it was odd that me and her son were dating b/c "he's cuban and I'm american." BTW, my fiance was born in the US so he is American and he looks black (very light complexion though). Not sure why that would be odd. His mother looks white (like a mariah carey complexion)

3. I overheard her telling his family in Spanish that her granddaughter would see my picture on Facebook and see that I'm black but at least I have a master's degree.

4. One of my fiancee's family members asked me if my family was Carribbean. I said no -- American. My future MIL responded that nobody is American but the Native Americans.

I could go on and on. Additionally, she's very controlling and complains about everything. She's never happy with anything. I've talked to my fiancee about her behavior and he says he's talked to her about it before but she's "old" and just doesn't know what she's saying. So apparently she's run off other women. We have zero privacy. Spend very little time together outside of the house. Sometimes, i think he doesn't want his mom to feel left out if he spends time with me. And sex, forget it. we never have it.

So many things wrong. We had such a great relationship until she came. He doesn't want to ask her to leave, as he's the only family she has in the entire city. Im not sure what to do. But I feel she likes me b/c I cater to her and treat her with the utmost respect. But I feel deep down she'd prefer me to be Spanish or White.

I'm just not sure ...

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