Let's Get This Straight

This does not apply only to ILs or relatives, but to anybody.

There have recently been many posts here about MILs getting old, getting sick, dying, becoming widows, etc.

99% of us do have this right, but let's get it down in writing, especially for our SO's, other in-laws and also for well-meaning friends and relatives who do not understand our realities.

A young, healthy person who is mean, manipulative, or otherwise is just that.

A person getting old does not negate that. There is no magic age that changes it.

A person getting sick does not negate that.

A person becoming a caregiver of a sick family member does not negate that.

A person having a death in the family does not negate that.

A person having a financial crisis does not negate that.

A household or automotive crisis (Flat tire, overrunning toilet) does not negate that.

A person becoming a victim of a disaster (fire, tornado, hurricane, etc.) does not change that.

A person becoming a victim of a crime does not negate that.

A person having a death in the family does not negate that.

A person dying does not change who they were.


I am not saying that a bad experience (other than one's own death) might not occasionally wake someone up and make them change their ways, but the experience itself does not change who they are.

The bottom line is that anyone who expects to be treated with love and compassion when the going gets rough must treat others with love and compassion when the going is not tough.



Print this out for your SO's when MIL gets pathetic and plays the poor old me card.