I've been with DF for 4 years now. At first, things were great with his mom, until DF and I got serious and started talking about buying a house and what not. Every time we would talk about buying something, his mom would talk him out of it. We lived our lives the way she wanted us to.

When we found out that we were pregnant, she seemed excited. But, when it came down to my baby shower, she and my mom planned it "together". My mom did almost everything because MIL's back was "hurt". She told my mom she would buy me a rocking chair and have it at the shower for me to sit in. My mom ended up bringing one of hers to my house because MIL never followed through. When we had our DD, DF stayed home with me the first week. The second week my mom stayed with me, and the third week MIL stayed with me. The whole point of being for there was for me to have extra help and be able to heal and rest. When it was MIL's week, she never came until the afternoon. She left early, and always wanted to take us out to do stuff. She took us shopping and to her work. She just wanted to show off her new grand-baby. She didn't care about my healing.

After that, she would come maybe once a week,, until one day her mother and I got into a fight. MIL called and left me two nasty messages. Finally I called her back and told her exactly how I felt, which was that she needed to butt out of our business. She then called my DF and told him that I said that she should stay out of our lives. We almost broke up over all of this.

She then didn't try to see our DD for 2 months. Once she started coming back around it was only when it was convenient for her. If she had plans to come, and something else came up, she would bail. DF asked her to start coming every Tuesday and Thursday. He wants her to be a big part of our DD's life. She wasn't a big part of his as a kid. I feel as though she comes just to please her son.

It wasn't often that she would actually come both days. Most times she would bail one day but come the other. I started finding out the reasons she was bailing, which were to get her hair or nails done or to get massages. Once, she spent the day at the beach. I was soo upset that she was bailing on my amazing DD that I finally told her, "You come once a week - a certain day and certain time. You pick when. If you don't come, you don't see her until the next week." I did this so my DD would learn who her nana really was. MIL acted very upset about this, and asked if we could do things every other Friday on her day off. I told her no. We could get together sometimes, but it wouldn't be every other Friday. She should just ask in advance. Needless to say, she never has asked to come on one of her Fridays off, and was calling and bailing every 3-5 weeks.

She never came more than 5 weeks in a row. Her reasons were always that she was sick, broke or depressed. She has now just finally started coming every week and staying for 2 hours instead of just 1.

I still have very bad feelings towards her and don't trust her. She has a way of making me feel like I'm nothing and can't do anything right.

I recently asked her for my DD's SSN back and she told me she couldn't find it and that she's not a careless person. I told her that she says she's not a careless person, but she's been very careless with my daughters SSN. I will not be giving her anymore important information due to the fact that this is the second time she has misplaced it. I ended up hearing that I make her look like a monster and that I will be the last person to come between her and her DS or her GD. Mind you, this is not the first time she has said something like this.

She has also told me that if I want to be a part of their family, I need to deal with it. So I pretty much bite my tongue with her so I don't have to listen to that kind of stuff.

Last week she asked if we could switch days because she wanted to vote. I asked how long it takes to vote. She said, "About 30 minutes," but her BF is coming home for the night. I told her that I wasn't sure what I was doing, so we'd see. She answered, "I'd appreciate it if you'd work something out. See you later." So I said, "Fine. What day were thinking?" She said, "I have every Friday off this month, if that helps." So I told her we'd do it Friday instead. I told her I'd see her at 10 at a local kid-friendly place. That morning I got a text saying, "I asked my mom to come along. Hope you don't mind." So we met at the local kid-friendly place. An hour after being there, MIL asked how long I'm staying. I said, "Another hour." DD then came over crying. I was trying to find a place to calm her down and MIL said, "Can you come this way so we can say good-bye?" Don't forget now that DD is crying because she just got hurt. So, she's trying to get my DD to say good-bye to her while she's crying. It was not a good time. And this is not the first time she has left while my DD was crying.

It really bothered me that she made me feel as though I had to find time for her to see my DD, and then couldn't even take the time out of her day to stay for the whole time we were at the kid-friendly place. And, on top of it, she left once again while DD's crying. This is the type of thing I've been dealing with for so long.

I thought she was getting better, but today she was her old self. It always gets put on me. One way or another it always ends up being my fault that she doesn't spend enough time with my DD. I'm tired of it.

DF called and said that he heard that we went because his mom called and told him. I made sure to let him know the whole story and the reasons I was upset. But, it just never seems to matter to him unless it's me that doesn't want to visit or me that wants to leave early. He has also gotten better, but I will still be letting him know exactly whose fault it is that she didn't spend time with our DD.

Signed - Bride To Be

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