EX DILs: How can we help?

[exscapegoat]

Echoing exscapegoat... Do not suggest or try to do anything more than remind SIL that you care for your DNs, want to have a healthy relationship with them and will not try to interfere in their relationships with their parents.

Thanks. It doesn't look like we'll be in contact anytime soon. But hypothetically, if we were, my plan would be to not talk about NM at all, except to agree with ex-SIL and/or bro on a response if the girls mentioned her to me. I don't want to drag grown adults into our problems, let alone little kids.

One thing I'm worried about is one looks a lot like my ex SIL, the other a lot like bro and NM's side of the family. The younger one is blonde which my mother prefers to dark hair, which the older one has. I know there's not really anything I can do about it, but I hope the kids are protected from NM.