Well, the baby's here and mom and baby are doing really well thankfully, despite a rough delivery. I sent my congrats to both my stepmom and stepsister. Stepsister had sent a thank you to the shower gift I sent referring to me as "aunt". And when she got home, she texted me a photo of the little cutie and referred to me as aunt again. I replied how happy I was for them and I'd love to meet her and I could take some time to help out if they needed it. She said she'd let me know when a good time is. She's got a lot of family around right now and my stepbrother in law has paternity leave.
From what I see, new moms get a lot of help initially from friends/family and it can feel isolating and overwhelming a bit later. So I totally get why my time/effort would be better spent helping a bit down the road. And I'm willing to offer whatever assistance they want, whether it's a grocery store run so the parents can spend more time with the baby, etc.
I'm still a bit confused about how it's kind of an approach/avoid thing. On one hand, it's easy enough to say talk about it, but I imagine they're kind of overwhelmed right now with a new baby. So I don't want to "dump" what may very well be my neurosis on a new mom.
Especially with my estrangement from my brother, I'd really love to be "auntie". But I also think a certain amount of detachment is probably good until I see how things are going.
There will probably be a christening, which I'll go to as long as it doesn't conflict with an event I've already committed to.