You know, it occurs to me that all of us hear (or heard, for those lucky ones of us whose MIL has gone to the Great B!tchfest in the Sky) the same excuses from our DHs and their FOO.

We need to number them, or abbreviate them, or something. "That's just the way she is" could be Excuse1, or TJTWSI ( bleh!) So,

1. That's just the way she is.
2. She didn't mean it like that.
3. You misunderstood her.
4. She never said that.
5. Can't you take a joke?
6. You're just too sensitive.
7. You are the one with the problem if you think she was said or did xyz.
8. You just don't like her.
9. She loves you in her own way
10. You've got to remember she's old
11. " " " " " [been] ill
12. I'm sure she would never say/do something like that
13. That doesn't sound like the [relative] I know
14. Can't you just forgive and forget?
15. She may not be with us for much longer
16. You've got to remember, she's from a different generation
17. That's the way things were in those days
18. Are you sure?
19. Well, it's your fault - you know what he/she's like
20. You must've provoked him/her
21. She's never going to change!
22. You are making it difficult for me -- she/he is upset that you won't speak to her/him, just put it behind you and stop this silly cutoff.
23. You hate my faaamily!
24. She's just trying to help!
25. She's (stressed, tired, hungry, thirsty, has dry skin, etc. etc.) so she's not responsible for what she says.
26. You are just looking for things to be mad about!
27. She doesn't understand
28. She's going through The Change and that makes her grouchy.
29. She's a bitter old bitty!
30. You can't ever forgive.
31. You have to be the bigger person.
32. I know my parents are obnoxious, but I want you with me so can't you just put up with them for my sake?
33. She has a hard time accepting change
34. It's your nerves. Have you thought about getting treatment for them?
35. They didn't do anything at the last visit, why are you getting upset?
36. If you saw them more often, you wouldn't get stressed/upset.
37. My parents hate you because your family had everything handed to them on a plate
38. She had a hard life.
39. You're not perfect either.
40. But she is my Moooother.
41. I wasn't there, I didn't hear her say that.
42. I don't remember anything like that.
43. No one else sees it as a problem, stop causing trouble.
44. "They've lived too long in *name of horrid place they live where the people have a reputation for being not nice*".
45. All you care about is YOURSELF family
46. She's mentally ill, and doesn't realize that what she does hurts people...

So far they sum up to 3 categories:
A. She can't help being a b!tch because excuses.
B. You're the one with the problem.
C. I don't believe you.

And all of them boil down to "You don't matter, only Mommy matters." Your feelings are nothing to Mommy's feelings. Can't hurt Mommy, so must hurt wife. Wife will understand.


Any others?