Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 31

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Registered User mamaalanna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    .
    Posts
    3,793

    Lightbulb Excuses, excuses...

    You know, it occurs to me that all of us hear (or heard, for those lucky ones of us whose MIL has gone to the Great B!tchfest in the Sky) the same excuses from our DHs and their FOO.

    We need to number them, or abbreviate them, or something. "That's just the way she is" could be Excuse1, or TJTWSI ( bleh!) So,

    1. That's just the way she is.
    2. She didn't mean it like that.
    3. You misunderstood her.
    4. She never said that.
    5. Can't you take a joke?
    6. You're just too sensitive.
    7. You are the one with the problem if you think she was said or did xyz.
    8. You just don't like her.
    9. She loves you in her own way
    10. You've got to remember she's old
    11. " " " " " [been] ill
    12. I'm sure she would never say/do something like that
    13. That doesn't sound like the [relative] I know
    14. Can't you just forgive and forget?
    15. She may not be with us for much longer
    16. You've got to remember, she's from a different generation
    17. That's the way things were in those days
    18. Are you sure?
    19. Well, it's your fault - you know what he/she's like
    20. You must've provoked him/her
    21. She's never going to change!
    22. You are making it difficult for me -- she/he is upset that you won't speak to her/him, just put it behind you and stop this silly cutoff.
    23. You hate my faaamily!
    24. She's just trying to help!
    25. She's (stressed, tired, hungry, thirsty, has dry skin, etc. etc.) so she's not responsible for what she says.
    26. You are just looking for things to be mad about!
    27. She doesn't understand
    28. She's going through The Change and that makes her grouchy.
    29. She's a bitter old bitty!
    30. You can't ever forgive.
    31. You have to be the bigger person.
    32. I know my parents are obnoxious, but I want you with me so can't you just put up with them for my sake?
    33. She has a hard time accepting change
    34. It's your nerves. Have you thought about getting treatment for them?
    35. They didn't do anything at the last visit, why are you getting upset?
    36. If you saw them more often, you wouldn't get stressed/upset.
    37. My parents hate you because your family had everything handed to them on a plate
    38. She had a hard life.
    39. You're not perfect either.
    40. But she is my Moooother.
    41. I wasn't there, I didn't hear her say that.
    42. I don't remember anything like that.
    43. No one else sees it as a problem, stop causing trouble.
    44. "They've lived too long in *name of horrid place they live where the people have a reputation for being not nice*".
    45. All you care about is YOURSELF family
    46. She's mentally ill, and doesn't realize that what she does hurts people...

    So far they sum up to 3 categories:
    A. She can't help being a b!tch because excuses.
    B. You're the one with the problem.
    C. I don't believe you.

    And all of them boil down to "You don't matter, only Mommy matters." Your feelings are nothing to Mommy's feelings. Can't hurt Mommy, so must hurt wife. Wife will understand.


    Any others?
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    "It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt!" ~ Mordred,
    bastard son of King Arthur, Camelot
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    I view posts in linear mode. If your post is a reply to mine, I can't tell unless you quote me.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    1,605

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    You are the one with the problem if you think she was said or did xyz. Because of the list above.

  3. #3
    Defender of the Faith caranfin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    8,118

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    You just don't like her.
    Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!
    - Homer Simpson

    I view posts in linear mode. If your post is a reply to mine, I can't tell unless you quote me.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    354

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    Adding to mamaalanna's list:

    E8 She loves you in her own way
    E9 You've got to remember she's old
    E10 " " " " " [been] ill
    E11 I'm sure she would never say/do something like that
    E12 That doesn't sound like the [relative] I know
    E13 Can't you just forgive and forget?
    E14 She may not be with us for much longer
    E15 You've got to remember, she's from a different generation
    E16 That's the way things were in those days
    E17 Are you sure?
    E18 Well, it's your fault - you know what he/she's like
    E19 You must've provoked him/her

    NB I didn't hear these from DH about MIL - they're from my FOO or FMs, about members of my FOO. Same principle, though.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    306

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    E20... she's never going to change!

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    230

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    E21: You are making it difficult for me she/he is upset that you won't speak to her/him, just put it behind you and stop this silly cutoff.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Big Blue Marble
    Posts
    4,001

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    There's my favorite because I have heard it so often: "You hate my faaamily!"

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    .
    Posts
    3,515

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    E22: She's just trying to help!
    E23: She's (stressed, tired, hungry, thirsty, has dry skin, etc. etc.) so she's not responsible for what she says.
    E24: You are just looking for things to be mad about!
    E25: She doesn't understand

    When DH would say E24, I would tell him that I don't have to look very hard, do I?

    When he would say E25, I would tell him that she understands perfectly well, and if she doesn't , she needs to be in a full-care facility - not a rehab, but a nursing home. He didn't like that too much.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    England
    Posts
    578

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    E26: But fammillllllyyyyyy...

    As an aside, E22 makes my eye twitch.

  10. #10
    Registered User mamaalanna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    .
    Posts
    3,793

    Re: Excuses, Excuses...

    E27 She's going through The Change and that makes her grouchy. (For 25 years?!?)
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    "It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt!" ~ Mordred,
    bastard son of King Arthur, Camelot
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    I view posts in linear mode. If your post is a reply to mine, I can't tell unless you quote me.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What


Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
Secret Paths
Women in the New Midlife


Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S


To See More Books By
Dr. Terri Apter
Click Here.