Your mil had a house with chipped dishes and cat pee while she lived there? I understand things have gone down hill since she hasn't lived there but this doesn't sound like an environment your uppity mil would live in. Sounds typical of people like your mil. There must be an article about tossing chipped dishes and how to clean cat pee of carpet somewhere. All under the bridge now.

Look on the bright side and yes there is one. She can no longer hold moving back to her house over your dh's head. Your dh won't have to worry about snow removal in the winter and he won't have to spend any time there checking on it . Win win.

But on a darker side, your mil's life is getting smaller and smaller. This is what happens at the last stages of life. I know it sounds horrible to say this but this is what I thought when I read your post. It's difficult now and your dh is making it more difficult than it has to be but in the long run is a good thing because it will require less effort from your dh in the long run.

Leave him to it and continue on with your life. You helped out now let dh deal with all his emotional baggage. Nothing you can do about that.

Yes lessons learned by what not to do from mil's example.