Quote Originally Posted by kaybee3 View Post
Her relationships have been superficial. The older she gets, the less she sees of her old friends. I truly believe the reason is that they have decided that they don't want to deal with her nonsense. Last summer, DH and OBIL were worried that she might be depressed (yes, I think she is) and OBIL came up with the idea of having us call her friends and ask them to visit her. Really? These are capable adult women. If they wanted to visit her, they would. There is a reason that they are not visiting. They don't want to. That says something.
I once heard someone say, "You have to be a friend in order to have a friend." That is so true! My Grandmother is in her mid-80's and she has lost all of her friends, and I don't mean they died. They stopped dealing with her years ago because she is not a friend. She is very selfish. You're supposed to be there for her but she doesn't have time to be there for you. You're supposed to do things for her but she's too busy to do anything for you. She also always has to one up everyone. They got tired of it and stopped calling and stopped answering years ago. Nobody in my family was surprised by that. My Grandmother is often depressed. It's her own fault. She never bothered to do anything with her life and chased everyone away with her behavior.

I mentioned that she has to one up everyone. She had a long time friend we'll call Mary. Mary moved to Florida when she retired. One Christmas, she sent my GM a card with a picture of her twin great-grandchildren. She said, "I'm a great grandmother now to these beautiful twins," along with their names. What did my GM do? She sent her a card back with a picture of her at-the-time 3 great-grandchildren and said, "I have THREE great-grandkids! I have more than you! Ha Ha!" That was the last she ever heard from Mary. She cried for awhile that Mary never returned her calls or sent her anymore cards. We all told her that was rude and immature of what she did but she justified it. To her, it was more important to have more than her than to keep a friend.

I am glad that you unleashed 30 years onto him. I believe he said, "Let's stop," because he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on.