Does he have any family that you can talk to? His parents? Siblings? Surely they would know about his issues. Do you have a relationship with them where you could discuss his care while he goes through the transition? In any event, you cannot put your life on hold for someone who refuses to participate in his own care. At some point you have got to drop the rope. My opinion might be different if he were actively trying to tackle his issues, but he isn't. At what point do you take control of your own life and happiness, right? In any event, I know it's a difficult position to be in, and I wish you the best outcome possible.