View Full Version : In-laws and Childbirth/Child Raising - Baby naming. I am getting more p1ssed by the second

Aug 5, 2007, 10:30 AM
I think that it is about time you sat down with DH and tell him things straight out. Send him an e-mail and tell him that the ball is in his court.

"DH, what part of No Fricken WAY do you fail to understand? Let us get some thinks straight, because if you cannot bat up to the plate and start being a husband and not mommy and sissy's little boy, then we are in BIG trouble.

Number ONE: What goes on between us is between US. I don't remember agreeing to share my marriage bed with your mother or your sister, and this includes any decisions that we made as a couple. If you want to tell them how many times a day that you pizzed in the pot, go right ahead. However, anything that has to with me or the both of us, is just that, it is about US. You had absolutely o right to share something that I help personal, and that I wanted to be a surprise. and don't you DARE say that you have a right to share things with your family. You can share anything you want, provided that it does not effect me, who happens to be your wife by choice, and not related to you by an accident of birth.

Next, as we both know, and don't you dare try and sugar coat it, your father was NOT nice to me. Why, in any sane world, would you even consider that I would wish to call a child of mine after him? and don't try that old, "well, if i cared about your feelings" ploy, because Sugar, you sure as helix don't give a bloody fig about my feelings.

So, to make things perfectly clear, the name of our child is between the two of us, and there will be NO naming after your family. If you cannot get that into your head, then you have a big problem and YOU had better solve it.

Next, this is OUR baby, and I am the mother. I conceived him ALONE with you in our bed, and I alone and carrying him under my heart. I am the one enduring heartburn, morning sickness, odd pains and the whole shebang. NO one has ANY "right" to be in my child's life, accept you and I. Be perfectly clear on this. Just because your mother has suddenly decided to be sweet to me, so that she can try and play mommy to MY child, does not mean that I will allow it.

It is time that you get your head out of your rear and start standing up and being a husband, because I am tired of being treated as someone who's wishes need not be considered. You listen to what I have to say, pay lip service to it, and then think that you can do as you please. Well sweetbuns, this is a marriage not an indentureship. You do not own me, and you certainly do not have the right to treat me as you have. I am tired of walking on eggshells and having to worry about upsetting you, Mommy Dearest or Sister Sweetie.

I am attaching two things to this e-mail Read them well and think. and think long and deep. How you come home today will have a HUGE effect on the rest of out lives together, because I sure as Helix have no intention on spending the rest of my life living the life of coming second to all and sundry, simply to make things easier for you, so that Mommy and Sissy will be happy. Start worrying about keeping me happy, because they sure as helix won't warm you bed at night, and they won't be there for a shoulder when you need it.

The ball is in YOUR court, because I am tired of running this field.




just me
Aug 5, 2007, 01:25 PM
You know, I don't particularly like this "Mother's Bill of Rights" as it is written here. It would be perfect if it were part "Mother's" and part "Parents' Bill of Rights" and had "we" instead of "I." Yes, some things are personal to the mother, breastfeeding as an obvious example, but many of these items are for both parents to decide together. Treating the father as an outsider seems to me to just be asking for a lack of fathering. The "Grandparent's Bill of Rights" is perfect, if you substitute "parents' wishes" for "mother's wishes."

I also looked over the linked article, and it got me to thinking about the idea that the father might tell someone they could be present at delivery, over the wife's wishes. My proposal for that problem is simple: "Honey, you can invite X to be present, IF you remain naked the entire time we are in the delivery room."

Aug 12, 2007, 03:23 PM
"Your family"? Does he realize that you and your offspring are his family now? He is an adult man who needs to realize that his "family" under the law and in the eyes of society is his wife and children.

Aug 12, 2007, 03:36 PM
Parents' wishes? No. The hospital told me that I was the one to decide the rules of the delivery room because I was the patient, not H, not anyone else. So, if mom says, "kick them out", or "call security," that is what they do, even if the father wants to broadcast the delivery on network TV. The father has no legal right to be there, either. It is only a courtesy. The patient comes first, and if she decides the father is out, he's out. The doctor can also decide to banish anyone from the delivery room, without explanation. Sensible fathers respect the mothers of their children.

Naming rights are in the hands of the mother, too. Legally, as the child came out of her body, the mother is the one whose signature must be on the form. No one else's! Mothers do have rights where I live!

Some men, that is, those who do not protect their wives and place their wives first, need to be reminded of certain things. And those certain things are often enshrined in the law. What do you know!